I came across a list titled: “48 Tips to a Happy Marriage”. I thought that they are worth mentioning and maybe exploring. I wonder how much of these are followed by couples in our society and do they find them relevant and applicable?
Since I am still single; I will comment about each one from my own perspective and state what I think about it; by that; I am not dictating or promoting anything, I am just thinking in the form of writing.
The list goes as follows; if you become bored while going through them, stop and come back later because I found them very interesting and I am hoping you will do too:
1. Start each day with a kiss ~ I think this one is not that hard; on the contrary; it can be healthy and nice.
2. Wear your wedding ring at all times ~ most couples do wear the ring, however; their reasons might vary, so as long as they think of it as a sign of their commitment to their spouses, then they are on the safe side.
3. Date once a week ~ I believe this one is very healthy; maybe not as often as once a week, let’s say every other week or that a date can be inside your home and that you don’t have to go somewhere fancy to have it, you get the idea, right?
4. Accept differences ~ No one is perfect. However; healthy arguments are good for the relationship, hence; the most important thing would be learning how to compromise with one another.
5. Be polite ~ Please, thank you, you are welcome… these are not only meant for strangers; your own spouse and family should come first and you must always use these phrases inside your home.
6. Be gentle ~ a person is supposed to be the closest to his/her spouse, being gentle is crucial to keep them close enough or they will find that comfort elsewhere.
7. Give gifts ~ nice small gifts are appreciated every once in a while
8. Smile often ~ I would say: Smile Always because it is contagious and you are more likely to be smiled at when you show your teeth more often!!
9. Touch ~ intimacy between married people is very important and touching is a means of communication that reflects closeness, connection and love; it is your way of keeping the spark alive.
10. Talk about dreams ~ dreams of the future that is; if you don’t share your dreams with your spouse; then who?
11. Select a song that can be “our song” ~ this sounds like a cliché, but it can be nice, don’t you think?
12. Give back rubs ~ this means: be comforting both mentally and physically and if you don’t know how to give back rubs and massages; it is time to learn!
13. Laugh together ~ laughter is like smiling and as they say: it is medicine. When you share good laughs together; the fun grows in the relationship and you grow closer and stronger every day.
14. Send a card for no reason ~ another cliché? Maybe, but everyone likes to receive a nice “I love you” or “I miss you” notes every once in a while; it does boost one’s ego, doesn’t it?
15. Do what the other person wants before he or she asks ~ of course; you need to know your spouse so well to be able to do this one. I guess this comes with time as you grow to know each other but seek to get that knowledge; don’t assume that it will come to you!
16. Listen ~ this could be the most important one ever, but note that you should listen with empathy and not just hear what they are saying; you should get involved.
17. Encourage ~ positive support and being there for one another is also very important; seek their support and give them yours and be generous!
18. Do it his or her way ~ sometimes; you need to do things their way just to show how much you love them and respect their feelings.
19. Know his or her needs ~ what good is a spouse if he/she does not know the needs of their significant others? This should be your primary concern!
20. Compliment twice a day ~ everyone likes to hear something nice as a compliment; so give them that when it is due. It should not be literally twice but don’t be extreme by not giving at all or giving too much; just say something nice when you can.
21. Fix the other person’s breakfast ~ it doesn’t have to be breakfast in bed though!
22. Call during the day ~ but don’t over do it and be obsessed with calling him/her. Give them their space but also show them that you think of them by a 2-minutes phone call saying “how are you doing?”
23. Slow down ~ and don’t jump to conclusions; always give the benefit of the doubt and wait to hear them out.
24. Cuddle ~ yes; intimacy is very important and reflects love and deep feelings.
25. Ask for each others’ opinion ~ absolutely; whose opinion would you seek if not your spouse’s? Your decisions will reflect both your lives and not only your own, so their opinion is important for you to make the right move.
26. Show respect ~ all the time; whether you are alone or among others. Showing respect is more important than showing love.
27. Welcome the other person home ~ show enthusiasm when they come home and greet them; this means that you are happy because they are home now and that you were waiting for them!
28. Look your best ~ I understand that this is not easy to implement since we face different situations all day long, however; it does count that you make the effort to look your best every once in a while just for their sake and not only because you are going out or expecting guests, get the point?
29. Wink at each other ~ another cliché? Probably, but it can be any other gesture like smiling their way across the room or dining table, or holding their hand for a minute, just anything that appeals to both of you.
30. Celebrate birthdays in a big way ~ this does not mean a big party; just show them you care about their personal occasions.
31. Apologize ~ and don’t be too stubborn to admit that you made a mistake, because apologizing can clear things between you and allows you to move on from the conflict in a healthy manner.
32. Forgive ~ from the heart and not only in words; forgive them and mean it.
33. Set up a romantic getaway ~ this sounds like fun every once in a while; no harm in that!
34. Ask, “What can I do to make you happier?” ~ in other words; communicate and keep it going, because one’s needs might change along the way, and what they used to like a couple of years ago might not be appealing to them now; so make sure you ask them what does make them happy and do it.
35. Be positive ~ even when it is a negative era of your lives; always try to show the full half of the cup.
36. Be kind ~ and nice.
37. Be vulnerable ~ let those guards down and show your true colors.
38. Respond quickly to the other person’s request ~ show them that you are doing this because you care for them the most.
39. Talk about your love ~ again; communicate. Always tell them as well as show them how much you love them and how happy you are because of having them in your lives.
40. Treat each others’ friends and relatives with courtesy ~ even if you don’t like their family and/or friends, you treat them with respect and courtesy for the sake of your spouse; they deserve that much.
41. Send flowers every Valentine’s Day and anniversary ~ or just for the sake of it; flowers can say a lot on your behalf.
42. Admit when wrong ~ don’t be too arrogant to say it.
43. Be sensitive to each other’s sexual desires ~ more importantly; understand these desires and keep the communication going.
44. Pray for each other daily ~ and do it from the heart.
45. Watch sunsets together ~ just share such moments together; it does not have to be sunset; it can be anything else.
46. Say “I love you” frequently ~ don’t assume that they know you love them; everyone likes to hear it, so say it!
47. End the day with a hug ~ show closeness and again; intimacy.
48. Seek outside help when needed ~ if you reach a point when you feel that you cannot solve the problem alone; seek the help of someone you both trust before giving up, or go for professional help as a last resort. Never feel ashamed of that; seeking help is a lot better than giving up and doing your very best to solve your issues. You owe it to yourself and to them to do that.