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The Gift (情暖今生)

The Gift

It was well after mid night, wrapped in my warm fleecy robe I stood silently staring out the ninth floor window of the daunting New York hospital. I was staring at the 59th Street Bridge. It was as sparkling and beautiful as a Christmas tree. New York city has always been special to me; the Broadway theatre, the music, the restaurants from the deli’s to the Tavern-On-the-Green. “This is what the city is supposed to be about, ” I thought, dreading the morning to come and all the uncertainty it held. But the morning did come and at nine a.m. on that March 17th, I was wheeled into an operating room. Eleven hours and forty-five minutes later I was wheeled into a recovery room and a very few hours after being returned to my own hospital room I found myself actually on my feet, half walking, half propelled by medical equipment and members of my family. The orders were to walk the length and back of the long hospital corridor.

It was then that I first saw him. I saw him through a haze of, drugs, pain and the dreamy unreality that this could be happening to me. He was standing in the doorway of a hospital room. In my twilight, unfocused state I saw him almost as a spirit shape rather than a full blown person. Yet the body language of this shape was somehow sending out sympathy and encouragement to me.

This became my daily routine for the next three weeks. As I gained a little more strength the man would be standing in the doorway, smiling and nodding as I would pass with one or more members of my family. On the fourth week I was allowed to solo up the corridor. As I passed his room, there was my faithful friend in the doorway. He was a slender dark complexioned man. I stopped a minute to chat. He introduced me to his wife and his son who was lying listlessly in a hospital bed. The next day as I made my scheduled walk, he came out and walked with me to my room. He explained that he and his wife had brought their teenage son to this hospital of hope from Iran. They were still hoping but things were not going well. He told me of how I had encouraged him on that first dreadful night’s walking tour and how he was rooting for me. For three more weeks we continued our conversations, each giving the other the gift of caring and friendship. He told me of how he enjoyed seeing my family as they rallied around me and I was saddened by the loneliness of that small family so far from home.

Miraculously, there did come a day when the doctor told me I would be discharged the following morning. That night I told my friend. The next morning he came to my room. I had been up and dressed since dawn. My bright yellow dress gave me hope, and I almost looked human. We talked a bit. I told him I would pray for his son. He thanked me but shrugged his shoulders indicating the hopelessness. We knew we would never see each other again, in this world. This man in his sorrow was so happy for me. I felt his love. He took my hand and said, “You are my sister.” I answered back and said, “You are my brother”. He turned and left the room.

My family came to retrieve me. Doctors and nurses, to say their goodbyes and give orders. All business had been taken care of. After seven and a half weeks I was leaving the hospital room I had walked into with so much trepidation.

As I turned to walk down the corridor to the elevator, my brother stood in the doorway, smiling, nodding and giving his blessing.

It was 14 years ago today on March 17th 1990 that I entered that operating room and much has happened to the world since my brother and I said our last farewell. Yet I think of him often and he is always in my heart as I feel I am in his. I remember his intense, dark brown eyes as we pledged ourselves as brother and sister. At that moment, I knew without a doubt that the Spirit of God hovered over us smiling, nodding and blessing us with the knowledge that we are all one.

Many times I have pondered over the years why we humans meet our dearest friends or bond so deeply with another person when we are most vulnerable. I think it is because when we face a life threatening illness, job loss, whatever the catastrophe may be; we are left completely without any pretension and our hearts and souls are open to those around us and we are able to accept the love and kindnesses of others, almost freely and thankfully as children accept love. This kind of love is blind to race, color and creed and leads to a pair of dark brown eyes seeking a pair of very blue eyes and pledging a love that will last through time.

  情暖今生

  时间早就过了午夜了,在雄伟威严的纽约医院,我裹在暖暖的羊毛睡袍里,静静地站在九楼病房的窗前凝视窗外。我看着眼前的第59街大桥,它像圣诞树般闪闪发光,美丽动人。在我心中,纽约一直有一个特别的位置,有百老汇的戏院,音乐,和形形色色、档次各异的餐馆。“这个城市本来就应该是这样的,”我想着,对即将到来的一天和它将带来的未知之数感到异常担心。但那天还是来了,就在那天,3月17日的早上9点,我被推进了手术室。11个小时45分钟后,我又被推进了疗养室,在被送回自己的病房后,仅仅几个小时,我就已经能下地行走了――一半是自己在走,一半是被医疗器械和家人推着走。按医嘱,我要在医院的长廊里走一个来回。

  就在那时,我第一次看到他。在药物和疼痛的作用下,透过朦胧的双眼,我看到了他,那景象就如同虚幻的梦境,我也不肯定自己究竟看到了什么。他当时正站在一间病房的门口。我当时正处于那种视力模糊的懵懂状态中,而他对我来说,就像个幽灵,而不是一个完整的人影。但我还是能感觉得到这个影像的身体语言中所流露出的对我的同情和鼓励。

  在以后的三个星期里,在医院的长廊里行走成了我必做的功课。在我的力气稍微恢复之后,我在家人的陪同下走过他站立的门口,我会看到他站在那里向我微笑、点头。到了第四个星期,我可以自己在长廊上走了,每当我经过他的房间,我这位忠实的朋友都会站在门口。这是一个肤色稍黑,身体瘦小的男人。我停下来与他谈了一会儿。他把我介绍给他的妻子和儿子。他儿子没精打采地躺在病床上。第二天,我又按时地在走廊里走动,他从房间里走出来,陪我走回我的病房。他告诉我,他和他的妻子满怀希望地把他十几岁的儿子从伊朗带到这家医院。尽管现在他们还是抱有希望,但情况确实不容乐观。他告诉我,我手术后第一个难熬的晚上艰辛的行走使他受到了鼓舞,他也在暗暗为我加油。在接下来的三个多星期里,我们在一起交谈,互相关心,彼此关爱。他很高兴看到我的家人很关心和支持我,而我也为这个三口之家因远离家园而孤立无援而暗自伤感。

  就像奇迹一般,终于有一天医生告诉我说,第二天我就可以出院了。那晚,我把这个消息告诉了我的朋友。第二天一早,他来到我的房间。那天,我早早地就起床了,并换好了衣服。我那鲜黄色的衣服给了我希望。我总算看起来又像个人了。我们俩谈了一会儿。我对他说,我会为他的儿子祈祷的。他在感谢我的同时,耸了耸肩,流露出失望之情。我们都知道在这个世界上,我们再也不会见面了。这个忧伤的人很为我感到高兴,我能感受到他对我的关爱。他握着我的手说:“你就是我的妹妹。”我回答道:“你就是我的哥哥。”说完,他转过身,走出了房间。

  我的家人来接我了。医生和护士向我道别,嘱咐我出院后该怎么做。所有事情都安排得妥妥当当。在我怀着忐忑不安的心情走进医院的七个半星期后,我终于要离开我的病房了。

  就在我沿着走廊向电梯走去时,我哥哥站在他的病房门口,冲我微笑点头,传递着他的祝福。

  我进手术室的那天,也就是14年前的今天,1990年3月17日。自从我与我哥哥告别后,这个世界发生了很大的变化。但我还是经常会想起他,他一直都在我的心里,而我相信我也一直在他心中。我记得我们互称兄妹时,他那双真诚的深褐色的眼睛。在那一刻,我知道上帝正在天堂微笑地看着我们,向我们点头,为我们祝福。因为他知道,我们不分彼此。

  在过去的岁月里,我不止一次在想,为什么人会在最脆弱的时候认识我们生命中最亲密的朋友,与另一个人结成最紧密的纽带也在这时结成。我认为,这是因为在我们面对危及生命的疾病、失业,或者其它灾难时,我们所有的伪装都会褪去,我们的心灵都会向周围的人敞开,接受来自他人的关爱和好意,差不多就像孩童那样,毫无芥蒂并心存感激承接受。这种爱与种族、肤色、信仰无关,也正是这种爱,让那双深褐色的眼睛和那双深蓝色眼睛相遇,并发誓永远彼此关爱。

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